Why God SHOULD be important to you, Christian, Gay or otherwise - christian living religion - christian theology - gay christian - gay barbados How to Meet Other Gay, Straight ot Bisexual People - personal sites, books, music, shirts - gay personal - christian t-shirt - barbados nation - gay barbados
Contact Information - christian theology - christian dating - gay mates - gay barbados

Why God SHOULD Be Important To You - christian theology - christian living religion - gay barbados


Love and the Law - christian theology - christian living religion - gay barbados


How can a Homosexual be a Christian? - gay barbados - christian living religion - christian theology


How can God, being love, condemn anyone? - christian living religion - christian theology - christian church


Applying Love to Everyday Situations - christian living religion - christian theology - bajan site web


How a Born Blind Man Experienced Life and his Homosexuality - gay single - gay guy - gay pride


Reader: But Some People HAVE Changed from gay to straight - christian conversion ex gay in jesus movement sexual straight


Something to ponder: An Ethical Question - christian living religion - christian theology - christian book


more coming.



Sometimes we may feel vindictive, to hurt back (even feeling to murder) when someone makes us angry by doing something to us that hurts us, hurts someone we care about, or simply because they're getting in our way of some personal gain - like perhaps even blocking traffic? But is this right? Is this love? No! This is wrong.

It is not love to seek revenge, even if someone hurts you... however, it also would not be love to allow yourself or others to be hurt or abused, whether physically, mentally or emotionally, and to let injustice happen. It is fine to not tolerate that abuse by stating so and protecting yourself via leaving or stopping your aggressor. But your focus should be on stopping the attack, preventing attacks in the future and seeking truly fair and compassionate justice BUT NOT getting back, getting even, not revenge, nor seeking to harm the person or kill them.

It would be efficient, but most evil, to kill someone to stop them from hurting you... unless they were out to kill you, and even then, other means like imprisonment are much more compassionate unless even in jail or with the possibility of escape they are far too dangerous. But those are rare exceptions. Most people can be restrained, if not reasoned with, and a fair deal can be reasoned out if you come with open palms and reasonable manner rather than aggressively and violent. However if they are truly malevolent and committed to hating you as a person then it is quite likely that no reasoning will change them, only stopping them via restraint, injury or death will put a permanent stop to them threatening your life. The problem is many of us let our emotions go out of control (including myself), and some of us just because we have such dark, hateful or unforgiving hearts, go past protection and justice and into revenge and vindictiveness, which are wrong and usually can be identified by being completely out of proportion to the problem. Know this difference and avoid vindictiveness and revenge like the plague. Try not to condemn, critize or accuse but instead express your own feelings in non-violent conflicts and encourage others to do the same.

In violent conflicts try to diffuse and defend yourself as necessary, but do not cause unnecessary harm. It is love for yourself and the people who care about you to prepare and defend yourself. It would indeed be most foolish to allow or encourage yourself to be hurt by doing unnecessarily dangerous things such as walking along dark streets alone, especially in dangerous neighbourhood, or going someplace where they have been problems or having irresponsible sex such as with many partners. It is love to not to go looking for such trouble by doing the above foolishness. Be wise, the best defense is prevention. However you cannot prevent everything and sometimes if something is truly important enough/helps someone enough to take a risk then OK, but minimize the risk as much as possible. Weight it. Examples: Love for someone who also values their own life and yours more than say, a murderer (who has no value or respect for your life). Get your friend out of a dangerous place/situation, but don't dillydally there, limit your exposure.

When someone hurts you, some of us choose to not tell them but punish them thinking "they should know. This is absolutely immature and idiotic. How can someone know what they've done to offend you if you don't tell him? How can they correct the situation if you don't tell them if the situation is? And if you behave in this manner, why should they waste their time with someone who wants to play immature games? If you don't like something someone does to you you say it to them politely but frankly, or forgive them it entirely, but don't hold it in until you explode or play games or hurt the person back. None of those are love, they all hurt others and yourself in the end. Be honest and don't let any woman or man mentally terrorize you by threatening to leave etc. or let terrorize yourself into abuse by feeling you "need" this person and fear losing them. If they love you they will understand and respect you and you should them, if they don't then why have someone who doesn't really value you around? Don't tolerate it unless they are wiling to obey your rules of respect WHILE AROUND YOU. I add that because it is not right to try to take away someone's free will either and force your rules on them. You may advise out of love but ultimately they have to make their own choices and should be able to have different rules to you, but remember it's always your choice to be around someone or not and vice versa if you are too different. That being said while you are in someone's house or place, love should tell you to consider and respect their house rules, or else don't go there, and when they are in your home they should try to do the same, or don't have them. Similarly with your relationships, don't be abused or abuse. Men, women, friends etc. set down your rules of respect and comply or peacefully part company. Of course be compassionate and reasonable in how you do these things. This is also why if you commit to someone (and sex should be a commitment btw, since one of the points of heterosexual sex - having a child - is a deep commitment, and there's AIDS and God saying it's purpose is for love/commitment) you should and others should respect that commitment. Also while I don't certainly don't agree with breaking commitment off in most circumstances, if you are going to be with someone else, break it off upfront, don't go behind his/her back and cheat. Why hurt him/her so? Save that greater hurt. Are you trying to have both people? Isn't that selfish? And even if you wanted both, like Old Testament polygamy, why are you not stating so upfront and asking both for commitment? There would be far less hurt knowing upfront and you would give him/her a honest understanding of what you are offering to accept or decline, rather than deceiving and hurting him/her. As for casual sex in real life, I believe that is hurtful to all involved as scripture would describe. But also read this http://www.whosoever.org/Issue7/moral.html and make your decision concerning it. But I firmly believe it is harmful by being devoid of love and just using each other's bodies for selfish and fleeting pleasure, and many times creating destructive, hurtful complications both emotional and physical. On the other hand, sex and affection that expressed love and enhances and reinforces your commitment to one another is a beautiful thing. I love to see that kind of sex and love in shows or anywhere appropriate instead of say, casual slam bang sex, in out machinery with no real purpose and good intent. Not even thoughtful procreation, much less love. Don't hurt others. Especially not to pleasure yourself. Help others whenever you reasonably can. Genuinely care. Sacrifice somewhat, but also help yourself, be joyful and don't be self destructive. That's love. With anything, ask if it's hurting or helping others and yourself.

Next Article: How a Blind Man from Birth Experienced Life and his Homosexuality


Why God SHOULD be important to you, Christian, Gay or otherwise - christian living religion - christian theology - gay christian - gay barbados How to Meet Other Gay, Straight ot Bisexual People - personal sites, books, music, shirts - gay personal - christian t-shirt - barbados nation - gay barbados Contact Information - christian theology - christian dating - gay mates - gay barbados